The weekend after Linda and I got engaged to be married, we decided to go canoeing one afternoon. She was paddling one direction and I was paddling the othe direction, and we both were determined each of us were doing it right …. Well, before we knew it, the canoe flipped over in the middle of the lake. ! My first thought was she okay? I knew she alright when  she raised her left hand above the water, asking, “Is my Ring okay?”I really like how  Billy Graham how described his  marriage…”Happily Incompatible! Ruth and I didn’t have a perfect marriage, but a great one. In a perfect marriage, everything is always the finest and best imaginable; like a Greek statue, the proportions are exact and the finish is unblemished. Who knows any human beings like that? The unblemished ideal exists only in ‘happily ever after’ fairy tale.  Ruth liked to say, ‘ if two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.’ The most important truth we need to know about marriage is that God gave it to us. True love is an act of the will,  a conscious decision to do what is best for the other person instead of ourselves.”

For an effective relationship there must be mutual love and respect for each other. Along with that, it is important to make a consistent effort to develop good communication skills. The  Bible states “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way.”( 1 Corinthians: 13: 4-5). 

It’s not a matter of “my way or the highway” type of attitude but rather “Our way as we follow God’s plan together”.By the way, this week, over 33 years later, Linda and I went canoeing  for a second time.  (Yes, only our second time!)  Even though Linda was little nervous, it was a great time. We stayed afloat, never flipping, because we both communicated  – working together as a team paddling in the same direction.   

I recently took a trip with our Sr. Adult church group to visit the Billy Graham Library in Charlotte, North Carolina. On our way there we, drove by so many places that has impacted my life spiritually. I saw Stoney Mountain off in the distance, close to Mountain Home, N.C. where my Papaw had his farm. He was a humble but strong man of faith. I still have his Bible, full of notes he had written and tear stains, where he had prayed for me and the rest of his family everyday. We drove by the Hendersonville N.C. exit, my hometown, which was a great place to grow up. I also thought about First Baptist Church there, I was in the youth group and then later served on staff . I thought about Mud Creek Church where we served for ten years before moving to Tennessee. I thought about Fruitland Baptist Bible College where I taught during that time. So many great memories of people and wonderful experiences of growing as a Christian and as a pastor. As we drove closer toward Charlotte, we went by the city of Shelby which is near Gardner-Webb University where I went to college. My mind was flooded with so many memories of the faculty and students there who helped, encouraged, and shaped me in so many ways. I thought about Linda’s granddaddy, whose farm was near there. He and his family have been such a blessing to me. I also thought about all our friends we have made in our  24 years at First Baptist Church in Sevierville, Tennessee. 

While we were visiting the Billy Graham Library, I noticed a lot of it was about those people who impacted and encouraged him and his faith through the years. I saw this interesting quote he said about hs life and ministry: “This ministry has always been a Team effort…a band of brothers and sisters committed to Christ and to our ministry, whose support, advice, counsel, and prayers through the years have made it all possible, without their loyalty and dedication little could have been accomplished.” Amen! Although I’m not an evangelist like Billy Graham, I can say the same thing about my team of friends through the years who helped me do what I do and have helped me grow in my faith. I’m so very grateful for all of them. 

Everyone needs a Faith Team, who is on your team? Be thankful  for all they have done and continue to do for you.  

Beautiful Messes,, Life doesn’t have to be Perfect….to be Great! I took this picture recently of a butterfly. If you will look closely, you will notice that part of it’s wing on the right side is damaged. I stood and watch it fly around the yard for several minutes. You would never know there was anything wrong with the butterfly by seeing it fly around. I sometimes think we have an unrealistic view of what our lives should be like; we all want everything to be perfect… perfect bodies, perfect health, perfect house, perfect families, perfect job and the list could go on and on… The reality of living in an imperfect world though, should help us realize that just isn’t the way life really is most of the time. We should all pray, work, and hope for the best but at the same time, not make it an “all or nothing” proposition in order to be happy in life. As Tim Sledge puts it: ” Because God loves me, it is OK to be incomplete.” Our focus should be on God’s love and not just our own personal wish list of things and dreams. 

There is a new song by Hillary Scott entitled “Beautiful Messes” that I really like a lot, some of the lyrics include: 

“Are you spinning in a ladder that keeps telling you

That you aren’t good enough

And when you’re looking in the mirror

Do you see someone impossible to love?

Full of fragile broken pieces

We’re all rough around the edges

We ain’t perfect no

We ain’t even close

We got holes in our hearts

We got scars we don’t show

But all the baggage we

Keep on dragging around

Anytime we start laying down

Lay it down at the foot of the Cross

Give it to the One who can carry it all

Even at our worst , to Him we ain’t lost causes

So bring your thoughts , your flaws, your secrets

And watch Him use those broken pieces

Because we are all just… Beautiful Messes”

Richard Black has said: “ What the caterpillar calls the end of the world…the God of creation calls…the Butterfly.” This particular butterfly reminded me that although it’s not “perfect”, it can have a great life…and we can too if we  will turn to God allow Him to take our broken pieces and turn it into something great for Him to help others. If God can take care of a broken butterfly, imagine what He can do for you and me.

 

Run Jerry Bear Run!..Earlier in my life, before my earth suit began to go south on me…I used to run for fitness. As with most things we do in life, you occasionally have “One of Those Days” where your motivation is low and it is just a struggle. I was running with a pastor friend of mine and it was one of those days when we both weren’t into running that particular morning. Every step seem difficult. We were in training for an upcoming race. Just as we went  around a curve, suddenly out of nowhere came all the motivation we needed… a huge canine critter (humongous dog) spotted us and began to run toward us. I told my friend Greg, that we couldn’t out run that dog. He replied, as he kicked it into high gear and he passed by me…”I only have to out run you!”

I didn’t stick around either to find out the details of the dog’s intentions! All of sudden I felt like running, my adrenalin kicked in and I ran and ran and ran. The dog eventually turned back, and we laughed as we finished our run that day. 

What is your motivation in life? What keeps you running each day? 

Let me encourage you to allow the Lord to guide your motivation and passion in the right direction… “Let us with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.”- Hebrews 12: 1-2 (NLT)

Blessed are the flexible…for they shall not get “bent out of shape”. We should be more like a palm tree. Even in a storm with high winds, they will bend but not break…Have you every had one of those days, where most everything you had planned …didn’t work out? Sometimes it is due to unrealistic expectations caused by trying to squeeze too many things into a short period of time. The key there is not to “over-book” and allow some margin in your schedule to allow for adequate time between tasks and to compensate for unexpected delays. When our life is cluttered with too many obligations, we tend to have misplaced values that can make everything seem like a “big deal” when it really isn’t. Dwight Eisenhower rightly said “The urgent is rarely important and the important is rarely urgent.”

On other days, we may encounter an unexpected crisis, delay, or a change in our schedule that is really beyond our control. This requires patience, a proper perspective and a good attitude. It is also helpful to think about options in how to adapt and adjust in these situations. The reality is, there are actually a lot of things beyond “our control.” 

  I experience these type of days because of the nature of my work in helping people in times of crisis, grief and serious illness .The basic theme of a lot of my days have been to go with my planned schedule and daily priorities but at the same time be totally flexible in allowing God to control my day. It is interesting to note, that when Jesus walked this earth, a lot of His most important ministry opportunities happened during an interruption on His way to somewhere else. 

I have learned that there is a freedom in doing your best, yet allowing God to change Your schedule to be a part of His plan for your life. Our detours can become His destinations for us, our disappointments can become His divine appointments for us in the grand scheme of things. We can take comfort in knowing that God is with us no matter what we may encounter each day. We need to be like palm trees. They thrive in most any environment. Because of their flexibility and resilience many cultures considered them symbols of victory and peace… “Good people will prosper like palm trees, and they will grow strong like the cedars of Lebanon. They will take root in Your house, Lord God and will do well. They will be like trees that stay healthy and fruitful even when they are old.” – Psalm 92:12-14 (CEV)

Pat Summitt was an incredible coach that accomplished so much for the game of basketball and women’s sports. She was a champion of champions, winning the right way. I really enjoyed attending games that she coached. With her teams, you always felt like they would  play hard and she would find a way to win by adapting and adjusting to what the other team was doing during the game. She was known for her stare and glare from court side and an intense competitor simply because she wanted the best for her team and players.Some of her famous  quotes are:

– “Offense sells tickets, defense wins games, and rebounding wins championships.”

– “Coaches who start listening to fans often end up sitting beside them.”

– “The willingness to experiment with change may be the most important to success at anything.” 

When she wasn’t coaching she was a Champion in other ways. She was constantly helping charities, attending events that help make a difference in our community. I would occasionally stop by her office to leave things for her to sign, and then take them with me on my visits to the hospital or people with serious illness. Their eyes would light up like a child at Christmas… and put a smile on their face because they looked up to her and respected her so much. It would make their difficult day easier to deal with and help them to face their own challenges. 

Some have said Pat’s Place is in the record books as one the most prolific coaches of all time. Others have said it is the basketball court at the University of Tennessee, or the State of Tennessee. Her influence will continue in Pat Summitt Foundation in their fight with Alzheimer’s disease and Dementia. All of these are true, but to be honest with you, her impact is not limited to a location or one particular thing. I also think that Pat’s Place is…in the hearts of family, friends, fans, and people that she touched in big ways and little ways through the years… me included.

One of the great mysteries of life is how Joy and Sadness often are going on in our lives …at the same time. Just this week, I was teaching 4 year old children in our Vacation Bible School while at the same time helping some families deal with the loss of a loved one. Happiness and difficulty are interwoven in fabric of our lives. How we respond to both is important. Let me share with you some things I’m learning about this…Take one day at a time, every day is a gift. Plan ahead but be flexible. Cherish the good things going on in your life instead of just thinking about what don’t have or can’t do right now. Check your expectations, they should be realistic but not pessimistic. Focus on what you need to do today but also take some time along the way…to smile, laugh and pray. Take time to say “Thank You” and be kind to others. Life is too short to be miserable, help make someone’s day by encouraging them in some way… Doing these things will help you to experience the joy of God’s grace and strength for you today.

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a Mighty Savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm ALL your fears, He will rejoice over you with Joyful songs.” – Zephaniah 3:17

One of the biggest joys of my life is being called “Courtney’s Dad”. As we have both “grown up” through the years, I’m still learning how to be a better dad. One to the important things to remember in being a parent is…that  it always a changing process (it doesn’t stop with diapers). You just get comfortable in a phase of life and then it’s on to a different phase in life for both parent and child. What is really good for me now, is that we are great friends. I seek her advice and input on different things, we talk and listen to each other often, and I respect her in so many ways.I think a big mistake dads often make is not being connected and supportive of their kids as they are growing up. They give them a lot of attention when they are a small preschooler but then not as much as they get older. There is a tendency to quit attending sports or school events in which they are participate or not taking time to spend talking with them (with eye contact and undivided attention) about their day and things that are important to them.

Like all dads, I haven’t always been perfect, like the time I was helping to light her fire baton when she was a majorette in high school and accidentally set the grass on the sideline on fire, which I quickly extinguish by stomping it out with my feet! I got a lot of laughs and applause from the fans in the stands and the local fire department asked me if I would be interested in being their “mascot”. I also enjoyed driving the sound truck for her majorette group in parades, especially the one when we were behind a enormous gorilla ballon and a country music line dance team who had large and loud sound system to be heard miles away which confused the majorettes and they ended up line dancing with the batons. I also recall telling her that eating  a chicken biscuit and mellow yellow were good for her just so she would eat breakfast on her way to school…she now prefers yogurt with granola and a low fat latte.

Kids need us to be a source of encouragement and I’m still the honorary president of her fan club. I’m thankful for the many happy memories as Courtney’s dad, and I’m looking forward to many more in the future.

We can all be thankful this Father’s day for our perfect Heavenly Father. God is our constant source for strength, security, guidance, and love. I like how Max Lucado describes God’s love for us…”If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.”

Meme is my daughter’s pet. She has lived in several states, apartments and houses. She travels well. She has been a source of smiles and laughs for our family and friends. She even won the Prestigious Nichols Hills Pooch Parade Competition… dressed as a Banana Split! She sealed the victory when she stopped right in front of the Judges Table and turned to pose and gaze at the them. She makes an impression when people encounter her on a walk and she makes herself at home wherever she goes. On one occasion, Meme got down in the floor when Courtney and her friends were doing some stretching and exercising..they stretched, then she stretched and then she copied some of the other things they did.I have noticed that she is “always Meme”regardless of what the circumstances are around her. There is a lot to be said for that same attitude in us humans too. We often admire people who have the ability to stay the same, even during adversity. It is easy to allow our circumstances to overwhelm us and keep us from being our best. Making the best of where we are and yet at the same time not lose our sense of who we are; can be a difficult task at times, but it really is a key to keeping things in balance in our daily lives.

Here are some interesting quotes on this topic:

– “I knew who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then.” – Alice in Wonderland

– “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” – Theodore Roosevelt

– “Whatever you are, be a good one.” – Abraham Lincoln

How are things going right now in your life? Are you making the best of where you are at.. or are you allowing your circumstances dictate how you feel about yourself? 

God can help us when we feel overwhelmed by difficult situations that we face in life. A popular Bible Verse of many people is Philippians 4:13, where the Apostle Paul wrote “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Paul wrote that while in a Roman prison, a very difficult situation. By looking to God for strength; we can trust in Him for guidance in spite of the circumstances surrounding us. It frees us up to be the best we can be as a person…and that’s something to bark (I mean shout) about!

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” – Sydney Harris“Your soul is like a battery that discharges each time you give life away, and it needs to be recharged regularly.” – Wayne Cordero
It is so important to recharge our emotional batteries. Research indicates that it often takes just as much time or longer to recover emotionally than it does physically, from stressful or traumatic events in our lives. I have over the years, try to identify good ways for me to recovery emotionally from stress that I encounter in my work in helping people in dealing with crisis situations. I really enjoy spending time with my family doing things together. I also like doing things like going to sporting events, hiking in the mountains or attending a concert. I think one reason is that it gives my mind some time to relax and think about something different. It is sort of a temporary mental break and stress reliever for me. It is a good time to spend with family and friends too and enjoy these experiences together. 
The truth is, we all need an occasional break from our routine. A time to relax and recharge. It doesn’t have to be an extended vacation, but a few hours or a day can be extremely helpful in keeping recharged in the marathon of Life.

There are a lot of good options to accomplish this in different ways, read an interesting book, take a walk, go to a good show, concert or movie, take up a new hobby, etc…The right approach is unique to each individual. Dr. Richard Swenson, has done a iot research in the study of balancing life demands, suggests this..” It is important to understand our emotional reserves. It is important to understand how much we have at the beginning of the each day and which influences drain our emotions dry or recharge our batteries. It is important to learn what our limits are and not make further withdrawals if we are already maximally depleted. And it is important to respect these limits in others. Make an intentional decision about how much overload is acceptable in your life. Some enjoy a high-stimulus life of continuous multitasking. Others prefer a more controlled, peaceful pace. Once you understand where on this spectrum you function best, attempt to stay within a range of tolerances. Exceeding these parameters will put your productivity and passion at risk, eventually resulting in exhaustion, disorganization and irritation.” 

Ask God to help you in this process. Remember that God created you and knows what is best for you and is there to restore and renew your strength..”The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry, and restoring your strength.” – Isaiah 58:11